(CORPETS), dorkholm, 2026

Statement

Somewhere between a Wojak and a mascot costume with no budget, there's a guy: hood up, 3D glasses on, a bottle marked WAGMI that has never once been empty across thirty-nine plates. That's carpets. He didn't ask for this, but he also hasn't asked us to stop.

Nothing here is curated for coherence. The catalogue grows the way a group chat grows: one image posted whenever there's something worth being disappointed about, in whatever visual language does that disappointment justice that week. He doesn't develop as a character. He just accumulates a rap sheet.

The name comes from the one plate where he's finally given one — on a McDonald's nametag, in the one setting where policy requires it. He's also real, sort of: built off the PFP of @LivingCarpets, a Rekt Guy, and an actual friend who will absolutely see this.

the liturgy of gm.

Morning Devotions

gm. is a complete religious system here, and the only sacrament is a warm bottle of WAGMI. These five plates catalogue the liturgy rather than the punchline — the parts of the bit that hardened into ritual purely from repetition.

A green-hooded figure with 3D glasses and the word WORK prays over folded hands beside gm. text, while a reclining figure labeled SHITCOINS lounges behind him in a rococo painting pastiche — Vocation stated oil on panel, rococo genre painting actual Meme, stock-illustration caption.

Split bus interior: on the dark side a hooded skeleton labeled Never Says GM sits alone; on the sunlit side the same figure waves and drinks from a WAGMI bottle beside the label GM — Split Screen stated vinyl livery, two-tone bus interior actual Meme, before/after diptych.

Victorian-style illustration of a skeleton family reading by an armchair; one figure says 'howayyy, GM,' a child asks 'Tell us again, carpets,' and another exclaims 'F**king legend' — Tell Us Again, Carpets stated watercolor and gouache, genre illustration actual Meme, captioned illustration, three voices.

Three-panel urinal scene: a pink-hooded figure already at the urinals, a green-hooded figure walking in, then both standing side by side in identical posture — Congregation stated flat vector illustration, three-panel sequence actual Meme, rage-comic template.

An elderly figure in a green gm. hoodie and 3D glasses drinks from a WAGMI bottle while using a walker, saying 'why do you hate me, give him all the banging content,' assisted by a younger woman saying 'sure grandma let's get you to bed' — Why Do You Hate Me stated documentary photograph, stock imagery actual Meme, captioned stock photo.

A hooded figure with 3D glasses and a wavy, distressed mouth is fed by a hose running from a tank labeled COPIUM directly into its hood — Second Sacrament stated digital illustration, single frame actual Meme, drawn icon, no caption.

A skeleton in a green gm. hoodie sits sweating heavily at an Apple laptop, checking something anxiously — Refresh stated digital illustration, single frame actual Meme, sweat-drop anxiety format.

A skeleton in a green gm. hoodie reaches, drooling, toward a vending machine stocked with a bottle labeled WAGMI — Vending Machine stated line drawing, single frame actual Meme, drawn icon, no caption.

A businessman hands a skeleton in a green gm. hoodie a test tube labeled HOPE, captioned FINALLY and HOPIUM, with a whiteboard behind reading 'I WANT TO ___' — Hopium stated digital illustration, single frame actual Meme, drug-deal-handoff format.

A green mech in the style of a Gundam robot, covered in graffiti reading HOWAYYY, gm., rekt, and GM 2024, holding a bottle labeled WAGMI — Monument stated vinyl toy, collectible figure photography actual Meme, mecha-deity crossover, no caption.

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material ruin

Statements of Loss

Every plate here eventually turns into an apology, usually starting with "sorry." The house, the bidet fund, the footing, the dignity, the shift at the drive-thru: different currencies, same crater.

Four-panel comic: a family stargazes peacefully under a full moon, admiring the calm breeze and beautiful sky, then the final panel shows their silhouettes with the caption 'Sorry I lost our house to shitcoins' — Nature Is Wonderful stated digital illustration, four-panel comic actual Meme, sentimental-reveal strip.

A bell curve chart labeled 'also Sasha' at every percentile from 0.1% to 100%, beside a figure covering a woman's eyes, captioned 'Our lass, remember all that money we saved for the bidet?' — Also Sasha stated infographic, statistical chart actual Meme, bell-curve/IQ distribution template.

A figure hops on one foot after stepping in dog crap, saying 'I stepped in some crap,' while his own extended hand holds up a skateboard-style plaque reading 'best to ever do it' — I Stepped In Some Crap stated digital illustration, split panel actual Meme, self-awarded-plaque format.

Photoreal skeleton in a green hoodie drinks from a bottle outside a shuttered shop reading 'Jack Off-Licence,' leaning against the window beside a shopping trolley of debris — Jack Off-Licence stated digital photograph, location study actual Meme, AI-photoreal portrait, no caption.

A skeleton in a green McDonald's polo with a nametag reading CARPETS slumps at the counter beside a WAGMI bottle and melted ice cream, under a sign reading GLOBAL FINANCIAL MARKET COLLAPSE, FOREVER SERVICE REQUIREMENT INFINITE, with a doorway captioned ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER THE DRIVE-THRU — Carpets stated digital illustration, single dense scene actual Meme, AI-illustrated damnation format.

A large hooded figure labeled Me sprays a can labeled All In directly at a small child raising a hand to shield its face, captioned 'Someone trying to warn me bout the shitcoins' — All In stated digital illustration, single frame actual Meme, oversized-aggressor template.

A figure in a green gm. hoodie sits at a table beside a giant pill bottle labeled 'absolute degen shitcoins,' with a wall of family photos showing other hooded figures in matching poses — Prescribed stated cel-style animation still, single scene actual Meme, sitcom-therapy-session format.

Two-panel expanding-brain-style comic: a green hooded figure reaches for a circle labeled 'Taking profits,' captioned 'Me,' then a larger pink figure hugs the same green figure from behind, captioned 'But it could 10x,' pulling it away from the same circle — But It Could 10x stated chalk and pastel, two-panel diptych actual Meme, brain-hug persuasion format.

A figure in a lime-green gm. hoodie covers its mouth in shock against a tiled wall, captioned 'Me when I think about how much I've lost in the trenches' — The Trenches stated digital photograph, portrait actual Meme, captioned realization format.

A bandaged, hooded figure reads a booklet titled 'AM I REKT?' with a crying Pepe on the cover — Am I Rekt? stated cel-style animation still, single scene actual Meme, self-help-pamphlet format.

A hooded figure sits calmly at a table inside a burning room, saying 'This is rekt,' a direct reference to the 'This Is Fine' dog meme — This Is Rekt stated flat illustration, single scene actual Meme, "this is fine" format, re-captioned.

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content performance

Wins, Recorded

Winning, performed as a genre with its own choreography — podium, plaque, caption — completely independent of whether anything was actually won. The show runs; the P&L does not.

Six-panel medal ceremony: a figure receives a medal, bites it, kisses a woman, flips off the crowd, sprays champagne from a WAGMI bottle, then stands on the third-place block anyway, captioned 'best to ever do it' — Podium stated flat vector illustration, six-panel sequence actual Meme, victory-lap comic strip.

A figure in a glass-walled apartment drinks a spilling WAGMI bottle, captioned 'NOT SURE IF EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE OR I AM JUST POOR' — Not Sure If stated digital illustration, single frame actual Meme, top/bottom-text macro.

Four-panel subway comic: a hooded figure admires strangers smiling at their phones, wonders if they received happy news, and the final panel reveals the phone showing a rising chart labeled 'RANDOM SHITCOIN' — Random Shitcoin stated ink and flat color, four-panel comic actual Meme, reveal-format rage comic.

A hooded figure gestures at the camera while holding an upside-down WAGMI bottle and an open book, with a butterfly overhead, subtitled 'is this a content?' — Is This A Content? stated cel-style animation still, subtitle burned in actual Meme, screenshotted animation frame.

Stick-figure meme panel of a man in a hat smoking a cigarette, holding a controller, captioned 'ARE YA WINNING, CORPETS,' beside a hooded skull figure labeled gm. seated at a desk — Are Ya Winning, Corpets stated line drawing, two-figure composition actual Meme, "are ya winning son" template.

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consequences, absorbed

The Body Keeps the Ledger

A skeleton has no organs left to damage, and yet these five plates keep finding somewhere new to put the consequences. Impressive, structurally.

Visibly swollen figure drinks from a WAGMI can, captioned with quoted compliments: 'carpets u look good,' 'you not even big,' 'yo stomach not even big,' 'u thick' — U Thick stated digital illustration, quote-block header actual Meme, backhanded-compliment format.

A hooded skeleton in an underwater cartoon setting crouches in a contorted pose, a tooth-shaped object balanced on its head, holding a small bag — Loose Tooth stated cel-style animation still, background reuse actual Meme, animation-crossover edit.

Three-panel comic: a figure rides a bike one-handed holding a baseball bat, the front wheel catches its own trailing helmet, and the final panel shows the figure face down beside the collapsed bike — 3-Panel Structural Failure stated flat vector illustration, three-panel sequence actual Meme, fail-comic template.

A clinical instructional diagram titled 'What To Do With Your Rekt Guy,' parodying a suppository-insertion instruction sheet in three numbered steps, with a small hooded mascot figure standing in for the product — What To Do With Your Rekt Guy stated clinical instructional diagram, three steps actual Meme, product-insert parody.

Assets Under Management stated cel-style animation still, location reuse actual Meme, animation-crossover, panhandling format.

Portfolio diversification, final form: one box, one mug, zero remaining instruments.

CRPT.2026.019

Condition report

Liquidity limited to whatever the mug currently holds.

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endings, recycled

Nothing Concludes, It Just Loops

The last four plates close the catalogue the way carpets closes most nights: badly, loudly, and with every intention of doing it again tomorrow.

Two-panel scene: a hooded figure as a literal grim reaper drags a scythe and WAGMI bottle down a hallway of doors, leaving a blood trail; below, the same figure sits with its head in its hands beside a drink, looking exhausted — Door-to-Door stated flat illustration, two-panel sequence actual Meme, horror-then-hangover diptych.

Two-panel animation-still homage: a hooded figure lies prone inside a ribbed, cave-like interior beside a bottle, then flees down the same ribbed corridor in the panel below — Disturbing Facts stated cel-style animation still, two-panel sequence actual Meme, "disturbing facts" format, film-still crossover.

Flat vector close-up on a pink background of a hooded skeleton figure with 3D glasses, vomiting a rainbow-striped stream, no caption — Icon stated flat vector illustration, single icon actual Meme, PFP-format icon, no caption.

A small child's portrait in a soft, muted palette, wearing a green hooded sweatshirt reading gm., drinking from a bottle labeled WAGMI, rendered in the manner of a Yoshitomo Nara painting — After Nara stated acrylic on canvas, single portrait actual Meme, fine-art pastiche, no caption.

An oil-painted portrait of a rounded figure in a green gm. hoodie, laughing while drinking from a bottle labeled WAGMI, a ceramic vase in the background — Still Life With WAGMI stated oil on canvas, still life with figure actual Meme, fine-art pastiche, no caption.

A crowd scene in the style of a Norman Rockwell town-hall painting: a hooded figure in a green gm. hoodie stands among seated onlookers, holding a booklet labeled TOWN REPORT, everyone looking up at him — Floor's Open stated oil on canvas, genre painting actual Meme, civic-painting pastiche, no caption.

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Methodology

Read methodology

Every plate starts with the guy already fully assembled: mint hoodie, "gm." across the chest, 3D glasses, a WAGMI bottle that never runs dry no matter how often it gets drained on camera. The only decision left each time is which disaster to drop him into.

Each plate borrows somebody else's homework: a rage comic, a bell curve, a suppository pamphlet, an actual Old Master painting, occasionally Spongebob's kitchen. The format supplies the credibility. carpets supplies the poor decision-making.

The stated/actual medium split carried over from other catalogues does real work here too. Each plate claims something respectable — oil on panel, documentary photograph, clinical diagram — then immediately confesses, one line down, that no, it's a meme. That confession is doing most of the comedic heavy lifting.

There is no fixed count. New plates get added whenever there's fresh evidence, accessioned in the order completed rather than reshuffled to keep the series looking tidy.

(CORPETS)

Doctrine

Morning Devotions

Statements of Loss

Wins, Recorded

The Body Keeps the Ledger

Nothing Concludes, It Just Loops

Methodology

Availability

References

Further reading